Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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