areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
