Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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