just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
