why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
