So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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