she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Quick, to the slutcave!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
