Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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