It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
