It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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