i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
