Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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