turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize