i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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