Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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