Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
