I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
