You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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