Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
