her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
