My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
