My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
