We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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