they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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