if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
