i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize