He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
