yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize