So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
