You smell like stripper and shame
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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