After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
