apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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