i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
