Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is it penis luge time yet?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The power of my boobs compel you
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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