I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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