Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
