he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
