She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize