So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
