He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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