i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
