can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
