At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We need to get me chipped asap
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
