So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
