It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
