I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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