Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
