Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
