sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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