two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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