All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
