So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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