God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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