yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
whose ass print is on the piano?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
