Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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