fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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