there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
