another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize