How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
