Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
