dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
