Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
